Chap Stick In Her Pocket

My youngest daughter is coming home from college.
She is finished her freshman year.
In hindsight, the months have flown by very quickly.
In the moment, the time seemed endless between visits.

Soon my husband will be home with the minivan filled with storage bins.
Packed liked only an engineer could, the refrigerator will fit like a puzzle piece.
Of course, her move-out day is the hottest day of the year so far.
It is summer weather in May, hot and humid.

My husband has done this for our other children as well.
Four children and their belongings packed in the minivan twice a year.
There is a lot of living that happens in between August to May.
There is a lot of growth as well.

You drop off a cautious, fresh out of high school son or daughter.
You pick up a young adult who had to make even the smallest decisions alone.
You watched as they figured things out for themselves.
You realized that you were writing your own exit interview.

You are still needed as a mother but differently.
You are the sounding board, the encourager, and the cheerleader.
You are the counselor when their heart hurts.
You are the doctor when they don’t feel quite right.

You still wear many hats; you just wear them from a distance.
You get bigger shoulders and tougher skin.
You learn to look forward to the quick text.
You thoroughly enjoy the long phone calls.

You have their schedule memorized so you can imagine where they are each day.
Your prayer time is longer because there are so many new things to pray about.
You enjoy seeing Facebook posts and having their friends home for the weekend.
You begin to let go; more and more, you let go.

And your heart hurts.
You tell yourself it is normal; the way of things.
This is how we raised them, to be independent, productive adults.
You want them to use their gifts for the glory of God, but your heart still lurches.

All these thoughts came flooding into my mind as I saw Chap Stick on her bureau.
I bought her some of her favorite and left it out for her.
It was a silly thing to buy but I was thinking of her that day.
I remember when I was a young girl and wanted Chap Stick so badly.

I was in the sixth grade; the year most girls begin to be aware of their looks.
Wearing a uniform to school, no make-up was allowed.
Of course, as a young girl, my mother allowed no make-up either.
But Chap Stick was different.

I could have Chap Stick in the pocket of my uniform and even use it for chapped lips.
Except my lips were not chapped.
I just wanted to be able to take it out, pull off the lid, and apply it to my lips.
I pretended that the lip balm was my own lipstick.

I felt so grown up.
Maybe my affinity for lipstick began back then.
Seeing the Chap Stick brought back a flood of memories.
It was a right of passage that connected my daughter and I in a simple way.

To me, Chap Stick signified growing up.
Without thinking, I bought my daughter some Chap Stick.
She has grown up tremendously this year.
I really like the adult she is becoming.

I wonder if I should tell her about the Chap Stick in my pocket all those years ago?
I wonder if she will understand the significance of my purchase?
She is my youngest.
She will leave her teen years behind on her next birthday in late fall.

Will she realize that this is my way of saying; I really like the growth I see in you?
Will she remember how proud I am of her every time she puts the Chap Stick to her lips?
She knows how I feel; I tell her all the time.
But this is a tangible object to help her remember.

Never underestimate the significance of the little things.
The most obscure object can be meaningful if explained.
You can make memories and connections with your children through the simplest thing.
It is the thought and the memory and the way it is related to them that matters.

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling His disciples to Him, Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything – all she had to live on. (Mark 12:41-44)

Two small copper coins known as a lepta.
The value was less than our penny.
The receptacles in the temple were shaped like trumpets.
When the rich deposited their coins, it made quite a lot of noise.

The widow’s offering would barely have made a sound.
To Jesus, it was a symphony.
The small insignificant gift offered by the widow blessed the heart of God.
The widow gave everything when she could have kept some for herself.

I think the Chap Stick is very appropriate.
I recognize my daughter’s growth.
I see her accomplishments.
I am delighted to see the young adult woman she is becoming.

I hope she tucks some Chap Stick in her pocket so she will remember.

 

2 responses to “Chap Stick In Her Pocket”

1. Regina, it is the small things that help with watching our babies grow. She will always wear chapstick . . . (Maybe not the tinted glossy type found on the back page of an Avon catalogue) but she is your daughter and will wear it just like her mom;)

   Reply

   • Cathy,
     The small things, the precious things mean so much.
     They really are the “big” things after all.
     Regina

     Reply