Field Day

I remember field day.
Field day the way it used to be years ago when my children were in school.
Field day was a day of team colors.
Field day was a day of stiff competition.

It was a day of relay races; capture the flag, and volleyball.
It was a day of parents cheering to the point of losing your voice.
It was a day where each grade was pitted against each other.
It was a fun day.

There were times recorded.
There were scores kept.
There was a goal to reach.
There were winners and losers.

There were first, second, and third place ribbons distributed to the winning classes.
There was an overall winner from the entire school.
The winning classes from each grade were announced over the loud speaker.
The number of points scored determined the overall winning class.

That was the reality of field day for my first four children.
However, for my youngest child, field day drastically changed.
There were no more winners and losers; everyone was a winner.
There were no more points tallied; it didn’t matter how you performed.

Field day lost its competitiveness.
Like everything else, it became all about self-esteem.
It became all about having each child feel good about themselves.
It became all about equality.

It became unrealistic.
In the softening of the competition, there were no goals set.
No goals set, no goals reached.
If there were no winners, there were no losers either.

Everyone was exactly the same.
Except they weren’t.
Everyone left a winner.
Except there was no contest.

The ribbons became participation awards made of construction paper.
And everyone yawned.
Field day simply became a day to play outside.
It became a day of no classes and no homework.

An article concerning the level of competition in school field days said it best.

At first we tried to keep track of individual scores and give out the appropriate ribbons, and that really bogged us down. Now everyone gets a certificate saying they participated—and their T-shirts, of course.

The problem is that this mentality does not carry over into the “real” world.
There is first, second, and third place in higher education and in the workplace.
There is rejection.
There is the realization that it is not all about your self-esteem.

Healthy competition is a good thing.
Competition between businesses helps to promote our free market economy.
Competition between co-workers can raise the bar of excellence.
Sometimes we even compete with ourselves for our own personal best.

I saw this evidenced the other morning.
I was on my walk.
Coming towards me was a young man I know.
He went to school with one of my sons.

He was pushing a wheelbarrow towards a large mulch pile.
He had two friends walking along side him.
Hello, Mrs. Gallagher, he said in his pleasant way.
You have a lot of work cut out for you, I said pointing to the mulch pile.

We’ll get it done, he said as his friends lifted their shovels in the air.
I smiled thinking about all the times my sons and my husband did the same job.
I was happy that he was helping his father with this large job.
I was glad he had two other friends to help him.

I came back home and watered my plants.
I fertilized my hanging baskets.
I was on my side porch when I heard them.
Because of a large pine tree, I could not see the young men.

All at once, I saw them right at the corner that used to be our bus stop.
They were each in a runner’s position as if they were at the starting block.
OK, I heard one yell you say go.
They each got down to that running pose I know so well.

Go! I heard from up the hill in the distance.
And they were off!
They were incredibly fast with one young man in the definite lead.
I heard cheers coming from way up the hill.

I laughed at the sight.
Here they were, three young men in their early twenties with a big job to do.
I am sure they got to a point where they needed a break.
The irony was that their break consisted of more physical stress on their bodies.

This time however the goal was to win.
It was not about laying mulch in the beds.
It was about who got up the hill first.
Healthy competition, just like field day used to be.

There were no arguments.
There were no tears shed because one young man won and one lost.
I could see the scene in my mind’s eye.
One patting the other on the back; the winner high-fiving the one who said, Go!

And it was OK.
It was more than OK it was just fine.
They were friends.
The competition was healthy and fun.

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy or selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy, and good fruit, impartial, and sincere. (James 3:13-17)

Taking away all competition and making everyone a winner is not the answer.
Teaching our children how to win and lose graciously is paramount.
We cannot go before our children and make clear paths for them.
However one type of training does that and more.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5,6)

God will make the paths of our children straight when they trust in Him.
We as parents do not have to do that for them.
In fact, doing it for them does our children a great disservice.
It isn’t all about them; it is all about Him.

God does not issue participation awards.
There are sheep and there are goats.
There are those who love Him and follow Him and those who do not.
There will be a great cloud of witnesses cheering for us on the other side.

Not everyone will receive a prize on that day.
Jesus will award His righteousness to those who come to Him in faith.
Some will receive that prize; some will not.
Those who receive the Prize will have an eternity to enjoy him forever.

 

2 responses to “Field Day”

1. Regina, so well said! Many years ago a parent reminded me that when we honor all, we honor none. Honor … something we should think about when we give it away so freely.
   Thanks!

   Reply

   • Cathy,
     So well said…if we honor all we honor none. There is better and there is best. It is the attitude of our hearts in dealing with winning and losing that matters.
     Regina

     Reply