The Gentleman

Soon after we moved into our home almost nineteen years ago, I saw him.
He would take his walk around the neighborhood.
He took the same route then that I take now.
He would walk with a walking stick and he always wore a hat.

It was his hat that he would tip in my direction.
It was his walking stick that he would raise in the air to wave to me.
My aunt would have called him a dapper man.
I called him a gentleman.

Never to his face, of course, but in my head.
My heart warmed whenever I saw him.
His posture and his walk were much younger than his actual years.
It was his joy that drew me to him.

He seemed to love life.
He seemed to love people.
He lived around the corner from me, on the cul-de-sac that turns me towards home.
He was married but I only met his wife once at a neighborhood barbecue.

If you needed a living example of a gentleman, it was this man.
I had never actually talked to him when I was new to the neighborhood.
Only a wave was ever exchanged between us.
I grew to enjoy the walking stick in the air; it was as if that wave was meant for everyone.

We moved into our house in the summer, on my birthday.
A few months later, there was a package in my mailbox.
It was addressed to both my husband and I with a neatly typewritten label.
It was not sent in the mail, it seemed to have been placed in our mailbox.

I brought the package inside.
There was no return address.
I opened it.
Inside, I found a box of envelopes.

They were letter-sized envelopes.
Each envelope was already stamped and had our return address printed on them.
The neatly printed return address matched the neatly printed label on the front of the box.
There was a note inside that was very simple, very humble: Enjoy, from the M’s.

Now I finally knew this man’s name and the name of his wife.
It was an interesting gift to receive.
It was a very practical gift.
He obviously went to a lot of trouble to give this to us.

I couldn’t imagine why my husband and I were receiving such a gift.
The tipping of his hat and the waving of his walking stick was enough.
I wrote he and his wife a thank you note, using one of the envelopes.
I told them how very much their gift meant to me.

It was the following week that I finally got to talk to gentleman.
I called him Mr. M since he was older and that is how I was taught.
He didn’t correct me and tell me to call him by his first name.
He was a gentleman and he considered me a lady.

You know you are the first one to write a thank you note.
My wife and I really appreciated it.
I wanted to ask him why that gift, why did he give it to me?
He mentioned that he put a package in everyone’s mailbox.

Who despises the day of small things? (Zechariah 4:10)

I thought of the effort involved in such a gift.
I thought of my mother and how I was raised to write a thank you note immediately.
Someone took the time to get you a gift; you can take the time to thank them.
It is so much a part of who I am that my children were taught the same thing.

I stood before a gentleman.
I was blessed by his respect, his kindness, and his gentle manner towards me.
He did such a little thing that many would think insignificant.
The day of small things was really the day of large things, the day of kingdom things.

A gentleman is a man who treats other people in a proper and polite way.
There are still gentlemen out there.
However, to some the concept is foreign.
Feminism has not helped the situation.

Gloria Steinem, feminist and activist said, we are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
Why would we want to?
What began as a movement of equal pay for equal work became so much more.
It was never really about job equality; it was more about gender equality.

Gender equality that tries to replace God’s order.
Men used to open doors for a woman or stand when she entered a room.
Men used to walk on the outside of the curb so he would get splashed rather than her.
Men used to pull out a woman’s chair at a restaurant and help her with her coat.

The feminist movement would say, we can do that ourselves. We don’t need a man.
Where has that gotten us?
Chivalry is forgotten and women are not held in high regard.
Tipping hats and waving walking sticks seem antiquated by our modern standards.

But it doesn’t have to be.
Chivalry can return to our culture.
It just has to be dusted off and practiced more.
Some women may balk and claim her ability to do for herself.

Her ability was never the question.
It was simply a way a man told her that he valued her and that he respected her.
In a culture that sees women as objects, a return to gentleman-liness is sorely needed.
Do we really want to become the men we would marry?

I taught my boys to open doors for women, beginning with their sisters and me.
I still remember the day my older son called me after he began college.
At the end of the conversation, he said, Mom, one more thing.
Thanks for raising me right.

It caught me off guard.
I mean, all the opening doors and the way to treat women things you taught me.
The girls here really appreciate it; it makes them feel special and respected.
I smiled knowingly.

It makes them feel special.
It makes them feel respected.
A man being a gentleman.
It is worth bringing a little chivalry back to our culture.

It is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of strength.
Chivalry is when a man is strong enough to be gentle with a woman.
A man who is a man.
A woman who is a woman.

Ladies and gentlemen, please stand up and be counted.