Love Hurts

The young mom was trying to schedule another appointment at the doctor’s office.
She had a baby in the stroller and a three-year-old boy alongside her.
She was trying to coordinate her schedule and check the calendar on her phone.
Her little boy smiled at me.

I smiled back and a bond was formed.
The kind of bond that happens in an instant and lasts only for a moment.
It was there nonetheless.
He knew he had an audience.

I admired his shirt.
Is that Olaf on your shirt? I asked him knowing the character from Frozen very well.
He smiled and shook his head while patting his shirt proudly.
It reminded me of the game of rubbing your tummy while patting your head.

Is that your little sister? I asked trying to distract him so his mother could finish.
He patted the blanket that was covering her.
You are a good big brother, I assured him.
He is, his mother interjected as she was still trying to finish at the counter.

Just then his little baby sister whimpered.
Nothing too serious, just a whimper as if to say, I’m still here.
The little boy sprung into action.
I could see that he was ready to meet her every need.

He threw himself on top of her blanket.
The whimper got a bit louder.
I saw little hands reach out from under the blanket and try to touch him.
He tenderly kissed her fingers.

My heart melted.
His sister.
I could see that he took his role of big brother very seriously.
You are so nice to your baby sister, I said encouraging him again.

I could see the baby under the blanket stirring.
I knew those motions.
I recognized that restlessness.
This little one was getting hungry and soon her whimper would be a full-fledged cry.

As if on cue, it began.
The lusty cry of a baby that will not be comforted until fed.
This was the one need her little brother could not meet.
He was not her mother and only her mother could feed her at this moment.

He sprang into action again.
He threw himself a bit harder on top of the blanket.
The cry continued.
This protector of his sister threw himself down on the blanket again.

This time the cry changed.
This time it was a pain cry.
It all happened so fast.
I sat there and thought: Love hurts.

We don’t mean for it to hurt but it does.
We don’t mean to do more damage but we do.
We want our actions to be the perfect response but often they are not.
We want our words to be right on target but often they miss the mark.

Love hurts.

It is inevitable really.
It is bound to happen when you get close to another.
Without meaning to we hurt the people we care about the most.
We say something or forget to say something; we just can’t seem to get it right.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. (C.S. Lewis)

C.S. Lewis hit the nail on the head.
The only way we will never be hurt is if we never love in the first place.
Lewis knew that as we protect our heart from hurt, we lock it up, trying to keep it safe.
However, locking it up won’t make it safe; it will make our heart hard and unfeeling.

The little boy did the best he could.
It just so happened that his actions hurt his sister.
At least he tried to help.
At least he reached out in love to meet her need.

We let our guard down with our loved ones.
We think that they will understand if we are late with our thank-you’s.
We think they will understand when we fail to return a call.
We think that we don’t have to try too hard with them.

That couldn’t be more wrong.
That is where our ministry starts, with our own family in our own home.
The little boy did all the right things.
At least he loved, even if it momentarily hurt.

Love is patient, love is kind: it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease: where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophecy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-13)

Love is personified, acting in a way that all Christians should act.
We fall far short.
The only Person who loved in this most excellent way was Jesus.
The only Person who personifies Love is our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Jesus is Love incarnate.
Jesus is able to love perfectly.
Love is the greatest of all three things because love is the only thing that goes into eternity.
Faith and Hope will one day be fulfilled and will cease when their purpose is complete.

But love goes into eternity.
Love incarnate will be standing before us holding out His nail-scarred hands.
Love incarnate will bear the wounds He incurred for us.
His wounds allow us to know what Love is.

In love, Jesus took the pain and the hurt for our sake.
Love hurt Jesus because He loved us so much.
Jesus didn’t hide and try to protect Himself.
Jesus’ heart is so full of love it splashes over onto His people.

We are loved well.
So we should love each other well.
Even if we hurt one another when we love, we should still love.
There is forgiveness waiting when love hurts.

Love never ends.
Jesus made sure of that.
How blessed we are.
How truly blessed we are.