Go Forward By Going Back

In a few hours, my dear friend from high school is going to bury her mother.
She and I lost touch over the years as life moved us both on.
As only God could orchestrate so perfectly, I was able to get to her mother’s visitation.
I was not able to stay for the entire service but we have reconnected and I am so glad.

There were three of us that were seemingly inseparable for a time in our high school years.
One friend would be my maid of honor.
The other is a part of so many wonderful memories.
As was usually the case, I towered over each of these friends with my tall height.

I just had breakfast with the one who was my maid of honor.
Marriage, children, jobs, and relocation take friends far away from each other.
There comes a point when it seems so important to go forward by going back.
There comes a point where you need to remember the girl you once were.

Before our scheduled breakfast, we texted our reminders to each other.
I got the message: Mrs. M had died.
All these years I never knew that Mrs. M’s daughter, my friend, lived nearby.
All these years I never knew that my friend worked in the next town.

All these years and I never knew.
Mrs. M was 97 years old when she died.
She died in a nursing home right near my children’s high school.
If I had known, I could have visited her.

If only I had known.

After my mother died, when my father would travel, I was too young to stay alone.
Mrs. M invited me stay in their home.
I would stay with my friend which made the time alone a bit more bearable.
I always felt so very welcome there.

I remember the long conversations I would have with Mrs. M.
I remember my friend’s older siblings coming in and out.
I was an honorary member of the family during those times.
Mrs. M made me feel very special.

My husband and I paid for our own wedding.
We needed to keep our guest list small.
There was a set number of guests that we had adhere to in order to keep the cost down.
My heart always hurt that some wonderful people I cared about missed that day.

You begin your married life and everything is so new.
We went from an apartment to our first house before our first anniversary.
Before we were married two and a half years, we had our first child.
Children kept coming; we built our second house, and moved once more to our current home.

The years have a way of flying by.
People you thought you would never lose contact with, seem to vanish from your life.
For some, you stay connected with an annual Christmas card.
For others, their address becomes unknown.

All the memories came flooding back to me when I heard that Mrs. M had died.
She was predeceased by her husband and one son.
She has one more son and three more daughters.
Her husband had been a fine man as well.

I drove almost an hour to the church where the visitation would be held.
I walked in scanning the people for my friend who I had not seen in over thirty years.
Before I could find her, I approached her siblings.
I know that face, her older brother exclaimed.

It’s Reggie! They announced.
That was my nickname back in high school.
It seems like a lifetime ago, but somehow it was like I never left.
Tears and hugs followed.

It was so nice to be recognized.
It was so wonderful to be remembered.
I was immediately transported to that time in our lives.
All those years, all those wonderful years.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her.
My friend.
The same red hair, the same smile, and the same voice.
We hugged and the years melted away.

Now that I found you, I am not going to lose you again, I reminded her.
She couldn’t believe I was there.
Why wouldn’t I be?
Her mother meant the world to me; she meant the world to me.

There were other people for her to see and talk to.
She quickly learned where I lived.
We realized how close we were to each other all these years yet we never knew.
But we know now; we go forward by first going back.

My husband and I double-dated with her and the boy who took her to the junior prom.
I remember listening to Carole King’s, Tapestry album as we sat on the floor of her room.
She was the friend that used to get sunburned even worse than I did.
Many of my high school memories include her.

We can’t get back the years that have gone by.
We can only go forward.
As we go forward, we remember.
We remember the girls we once were and cherish the women we have become.

A friend loves at all times... (Proverbs 17:17)

I’m not sure if there is an official litmus test for friendship.
But I have one of my own.
True friends can pick up right where they left off.
They have a foundation that lasts through years, and changes, and whatever life throws your way.

We are not foolish.
We know that over thirty years has passed.
However in that hug, those thirty plus years vanished in an instant.
We were girls on the floor of her room listening to Carole King.

We really were.
We really are.
Those same girls still exist in the bodies of grown women.
We have not lost them.

We go forward by going back.
What we had was precious.
What we have is lasting.
A friend truly does love at all times.

I am so grateful to Mrs. M and her home that enveloped me at a time I needed it most.
I am so thankful to have found my friend again.
Now that I found her, by Gods grace, I will not lose touch with her again.
God, in His loving mercy, knew that each of us needed to be reconnected right about now.

 

2 responses to “Go Forward By Going Back”

1. This is so precious, so true. I’m glad that you found your friend. All friends are highly treasured, but there is something so special about the ones who shared your childhood, know your history and still love you! Blessings to you and to her as you reconnect. It doesn’t sound like it will be hard to take up where you left off. Thank you, Gina! I do enjoy your postings. And one of these days — (maybe after the first of the year?) maybe it will be you and I and Maria setting some groundwork for a new friendship that carries the delightful nuances of old friendships. I would like that! Love you!

   Reply

   • MaryAnn,
     Yes, After the New Year, I would love to set the groundwork for a new friendship. Blending a new friend with an old one is the richest of blessings. I look forward to that time. Kindred spirits, you and I. You are loved, friend!
     Gina

     Reply