Jan
11
2016
Growing, Moving, and Coming Back
Posted in Family Life 2 Comments
It was part of the prayer around the long dinner table that I remember most.
The grandfather on the Waltons was the one who was praying.
The words of the prayer went right to my heart.
Perhaps it was my own stage of life that made the words so special to me.
Family is for growing up in, moving away from, and coming back to.
The words hit my heart with a thud.
It was the going away from that was difficult.
It was the growing up in that was so tender.
It was the coming home to that was so bittersweet.
I am in that season.
The proverbial empty nest.
I was amazed at how many people asked me the same question when my youngest went to college.
So, are you going to downsize now?
My daughter had not even been gone a week when the questions began to be asked.
No, we have no intention of downsizing, I answered trying not to sound annoyed.
This home has a lot of life in it yet.
This home is for grandchildren to play in, for dinners around the table, and for life to continue.
I was made to feel like an oddity.
This is your time, I was told over and over.
In reality, it is God’s time.
It always has been and always will be.
There is life to be lived in this house if God allows.
There is ministry to be done in this house if God brings it to my door.
There are Bible studies to be taught in this house if God continues to bring the women.
Downsize? Not until or if He shows me that it is time.
I want our home to be used for Kingdom purposes.
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn captured the essence of that truth in a few words.
We must learn what it means to live at a Kingdom pace: deep and slow.
Our world seems satisfied to live shallow and fast; definitely not a Kingdom pace.
A Kingdom pace takes time.
It means putting people and their needs first.
It means listening much and talking less.
It means living out the Gospel even when it is hard.
The Kingdom pace does not acquire for the sake of the acquisition.
The Kingdom pace is being aware that whatever gifts we have are directly from His hands.
The Kingdom pace is not about how many cursory relationships we have.
It is about deep relationships where the Lord is the center and conversation takes time.
It is sitting around the table discussing, sharing, and glorifying the Lord in everything.
Shallow and fast may seem like popularity for a time but at the end of the day it falls short.
There is an emptiness when it is all about numbers and appearances.
There is such fulfillment when it is all about Him and for Him.
I never noticed the reality of the grandfather’s prayers as much as I did this Christmas.
My children were all home and for a good portion of that long weekend, everyone was here.
They grew up here, they went away from here, and they come back here.
However, it was the first time I realized that though this is home, they do not belong here any more.
I said that to a friend and she was surprised.
So surprised that I had to clarify my statement and even then didn’t do such a good job.
Everyone was home and fit right back into the comfort of life here.
Board games were played, food was eaten, conversations were long and deep.
I watched them all.
I listened to them all.
I heard stories about their lives away from here.
I saw the beginning of the unfolding of God’s plan for their lives.
There was a moment when the thoughts came to me like a thud.
You don’t belong here.
This is always home but God has moved you on.
God has sent you forth and has a mission for you beyond the four walls of this house.
It is the way it should be.
For a mother’s heart, it is still hard.
You know that you raise your children for this moment.
When the moment comes, it seems to come too soon.
Family is for growing up in, moving away from, and coming back to.
I get it Grandpa Walton, I get it!
It is as if we captured a bird and then decided to keep it from flying.
We raise our children to give them wings; we must allow them to fly.
And fly they must.
I shared this with another friend who answered with such wisdom.
It’s like trying to teach a baby to walk and then confining them so they are never allowed to.
Exactly.
When our children are given wings and they begin to fly, that is how it should be.
They will fly away, but they will fly back.
Much like a homing pigeon, they know the road home.
It is our responsibility to make sure the road to home is always open and welcoming.
Our children will establish homes of their own.
One day, they will have to come to the same realization with their own children.
They will realize that the going away happens much too soon.
They will realize that the growing up years were over in the blink of an eye.
It is good.
It is necessary.
It is a privilege.
It is a joy.
It is home.
If we have done our job well, we have taught them about their real Home.
It is the Home they will never leave.
It is the Home they will never go away from.
We give our child wings.
Those wings should help them fly away from us while flying closer to Him.
If a family is in Christ, then the going away is just temporary.
One day, there will be an eternity of being together in our new Home.
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in Me. In My Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with Me that you also may be where I am going. (John 14:1-4)
The Kingdom pace is slow and deep.
We are sent forth to be called back.
Our Heavenly Home is for coming back to.
Jesus is preparing a place for us and it will be good.
YES!!! This is exactly what I’ve tried to formulate into words and never quite got it right. Thank you, dear friend. I deeply appreciate, genuinely resonate and heartily agree! Love to you on this Monday morning when the sun is shining and life is getting back to order after the weekend.
Love to you as well, MaryAnn. You and I are kindred spirits walking through the same stage of life. What would we do without the Lord for this season and every other? Blessings, friend!
Gina