The Giving Of Gifts

When she was about six years old, our oldest daughter gave me her birthday list.
I expected to see certain things on the list that I knew she liked.
To my surprise, I saw a T-ball glove as her number one item.
I didn’t think she was serious.

This was my daughter who played with Barbie dolls.
This was the little girl who loved Mary Poppins and would walk with a parasol in order to fly.
She was asking for something that was foreign to me.
It was foreign not because she was a girl but because it seemed to come out of left field.

She never talked about sports before.
She never gave a hint to me that she was interested in T-ball.
I thought it was just a phase.
I looked at the rest of the things on her list and decided to get those for her birthday.

The morning of her birthday came.
The birthday flag was waving from the decorative flag pole outside.
The birthday banner was hanging over the fireplace.
The birthday signs were scattered around the house, with one hung over her bedroom door.

She was so excited to open her presents.
Each of the four things she opened was an item on her list.
When she opened the last present I could see her lips quiver a bit.
There was no T-ball glove.

She tried so hard to be gracious.
Her look of disappointment broke my heart.
Are you OK? I asked already knowing the answer.
Mommy, I love all of my presents, but I really wanted a T-ball glove!

Why do you want a T-Ball glove, I asked knowing the obvious answer.
I want to play T-ball, she told me as she went to get her kindergarten backpack.
She removed a neatly folded sheet of paper.
I opened it and saw that it was a permission slip for a local T-ball league.

Where did you get this? I asked holding the paper out in front of me.
My teacher, she said, We have to get it signed if we want to play.
Do you want to play T-ball? I asked searching her eyes as she spoke.
I really do! She answered with enthusiasm.

I hugged her and told her I was so sorry for not taking that item on her list seriously.
I mentioned that she never talked about T-ball before.
I admitted that this was all new to me.
I told her that if she wanted to play T-ball, we would support her.

Her face lit up!
We enjoyed the rest of her birthday.
She and her dad would go out and find just the right T-ball glove.
They went out the next day and came back with a glove, a ball, and a lot of enthusiasm.

How could I have missed it?
I projected my idea of what she should want for her birthday.
I failed to think of her and her new found interest.
It didn’t matter whether I understood or not, she needed to be encouraged in this pursuit.

That was just the beginning of many years of hard work and discipline.
She played T-ball only one year and didn’t really like it, since there was not enough running.
She played field hockey, lacrosse, and basketball through elementary, middle, and high school.
She was a co-captain of the field hockey team in her senior year of high school.

When she went to college, she thought she would be playing field hockey; God had another plan.
Her college was trying to invigorate their women’s lacrosse team.
They reached out to athletes who had lacrosse in their background.
My daughter made the team; she started and played in every lacrosse game in her college career.

She still holds most of the defensive records for lacrosse at her college.
She graduated as an All-American Lacrosse athlete.
And I didn’t take her seriously back in kindergarten.
And I thought it was just a passing phase.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I think of that often when I consider the giving of gifts.
We tend to project what we think the person wants instead of considering who they really are.
We often get it wrong when we fail to see the heart of the person for whom the gift was intended.

I have never forgotten how badly I judged that situation all those years ago.
I thought I knew better.
It all worked out in the end but I missed one vital point.
I failed to see my daughter for who she was and who she was becoming.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17)

We do not give perfect gifts.
We often give gifts that are terribly wrong.
We often give gifts that miss the mark.
We often project our views on the recipient rather than considering who they are as a person.

We sin and fall short.
Even when we try to do the right thing, our ego factors into the process.
Even when we try to give the right gift, we have our own agenda.
We are not God.

God has the power and authority to veto our list.
God knows better.
God knows our heart, so if He says, No, to a particular thing, it is in our best interest.
We don’t have that kind of knowledge, though we think we do.

By God’s grace, I learned something from this episode.
I learned to pay attention to who each of my children really are inside.
I learned to see the nuances of their personality and respect the way God wired each of them.
I learned to listen and take seriously who they are and who they are becoming.

Even into adulthood, it remains the same.
They are each unique and I respect their uniqueness.
I cannot make them into something they’re not; I wouldn’t even try.
They are valued as the person God created.

I can only give good and mediocre gifts.
Only God can give good and perfect gifts.
Only God can redeem the things I do that go against who He created my children to be.
I need His help to remain true to Him or else my testimony means nothing.

 

2 responses to “The Giving Of Gifts”

1. Gina, I am really glad Barb & I saw you on Sunday and discussed writing. I have only read today’s article but will be reading some of your previous articles as well as those in the future. I will be forwarding this to Barb so she can keep up with your blog too. May I suggest one thing? Please cut back on the quality in future blogs. I absolutely LOVE today’s blog. The only problem is it makes my articles look so shabby! To write it five days a week since 2012 is so special. It’s all I can do to write a weekly column.
   Your daughter’s story reminds me of a Christmas that fell on Sunday when I was a kid. My parents asked me if I wanted a pogo stick or a basketball. I really wanted the basketball. We opened our presents before going to church and there was a pogo stick. I was so disappointed. When we got home from church, there was a basketball under the tree!
   Jeff

   Reply

   • Jeff,
     I am so delighted that you enjoyed this particular Whisper. We really have no idea how to give good gifts like our Heavenly Father. We fall short but sometimes, with His help, our gift is fitting. Your writing blesses me. God will use our little bit for His glory.
     Gina

     Reply