Taught and Caught

I was eating my healthy grain clusters for breakfast.
I laughed because years ago it would have simply been called, cereal.
However, today cereal can range from sugary choices to a more healthy variety.
I put the healthy grain clusters in my bowl.

I wanted to slice a banana to add some fruit to my breakfast.
I peeled the banana and immediately cut off both ends.
Each of the banana circles fell on top of my bowl.
The two ends, along with the peel, were thrown in the trash.

It is just something I routinely do.
I smiled at the thought since I cut off the two ends of a pickle as well.
I must have some secret aversion.
A secret aversion that manifests itself in the removal of banana ends and pickle ends.

As I sat down with my Bible to spend some quiet time reading God’s Word, it came to me.
One of my daughters does the same thing.
I remember when she and I were at a conference and had breakfast in the hotel.
She sat next to me, peeled a banana, and cut off the two ends.

Like mother, like daughter.

I have a small crock which holds extra change from my wallet.
Periodically, I empty the massive amount of change that I accumulate and pour it inside.
I put some change back into my wallet.
Three quarters, three dimes, and three nickels.

My youngest daughter was standing near me at the kitchen island that day.
Mom, do you always do that? She asked unbelievably.
You mean empty my change into the crock? I answered.
No, put three quarters, three dimes, and three nickels into your wallet, she explained.

I had to answer truthfully, but I dreaded doing so.
I was sure there was some obsessive compulsive label that would apply.
Yes, I always do that, I said sheepishly.
She laughed out loud and said between breaths, So do I!

Like mother, like daughter.

Cutting off ends of bananas and pickles is one thing.
Putting the same amount of coins back into your wallet is another.
I never taught my daughters to do that.
I never suggested that either behavior was the right way or the only way.

Yet, we do exactly the same, random thing.
You could argue that it is in the genes.
You could argue that they watched me and incorporated that behavior into their life.
You may be right on both counts.

Even though I had not deliberately taught them, they picked up my behaviors anyway.
Thankfully, each of these things are harmless.
Granted, they are a little strange, but harmless nonetheless.
Imagine if what they watched was harmful, dangerous, or outright disobedient to the Lord.

I had read years ago that children follow the footsteps you thought you covered up.
A child’s behavior is caught sometimes more than it is taught.
I remember that was very troubling to me when I pondered it.
However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that there is truth to those words.

Do as I say, not as I do is not good parenting.
Because I say so, when our behavior says another thing entirely, never works.
That’s just the way we do things, without ever considering the need to modify our choices.
My way or the highway, is the most ineffective method of all.

Each of these statements represent a mindset of self.
I know what I am doing, so listen to me.
I am the adult and can do what I want but you do as I say.
I am the parent.

Are we acting like one?
Are we trying so hard to be our child’s friend that we fail to be their parent?
Children have enough friends.
They need someone in authority to set limits and give guidance.

If we, as parents, get closer to the Lord and His Word, then our behavior will be more like His.
If we ask forgiveness when we sin, repent and turn from that behavior, our children will see.
They will see imperfect parents running to the Lord as their authority and as their guide.
We cannot have the do as I say not as I do mentality when it comes to God’s Word.

Jesus is God’s Son.
Jesus had to learn how to behave and learn Who was in authority over Him.
Jesus, fully God yet fully man, learned to obey.
He listened to His Father and was obedient to Him.

We cannot parent our children by the seat of our pants.
We need help.
We need guidance.
We need direction for our own lives if we ever intend to teach our children the way to go.

Our words and our actions must be like Jesus’ words and actions.
Be holy because I am holy. (1 Peter 1:16)
Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. (Matthew 5:48)
That is impossible to even try to attain apart from the power of the Holy Spirit.

How are we doing?
Are we Biblically literate?
Do we know what God’s Word says?
Do we act upon it?

Our children are watching.
Their behavior is caught as much as taught.
They can smell the do as I say and not as I do mentality a mile away.
That should be very daunting to us.

Parents may want to throw in the towel in frustration.
Never do that!
The God of grace loves you and is ready to forgive what needs to be forgiven.
Parenting is humbling as we realize how very much we need the Lord to do this job at all.

There are no lone ranger parents.
We need the Lord to teach us how to be holy, so in turn we can teach our children.
We need the Lord to humble us so that we do not take an, I’ve got this, attitude in our parenting.
We need the Lord.

Seeing a random behavior copied exactly by two of my daughters drove this truth home.
Our children are watching.
What are they seeing?
What are they hearing?

Cling to the Lord Jesus and His Word.
Watch your life and your doctrine closely. (1 Timothy 4:16)
Our children are following us as we follow the Lord Jesus.
It matters what they catch from us since we are never sure when they are watching.