20 Cents

He was pushing one of those small shopping carts.
I glanced in the cart and saw a few items.
No fruit or vegetables.
Inside the cart were things that would make a quick meal.

The man never looked up as he passed me.
I continued down the aisle.
I was putting the things in my cart that I knew we needed.
The man passed me again going the other direction.

This time he looked me in the eye.
I smiled but he didn’t smile back.
He was an older man.
He had a beard and a head full of disheveled hair.

I turned down the next aisle and lost sight of him.
Out of nowhere, he appeared again.
Miss, do you have 20 cents? He said quietly so no one else could hear.
Of course I do, I said grabbing my wallet.

I searched his face and prayed a shooting arrow prayer.
One of those prayers you say on the spot.
One of those prayers you say quickly when you don’t know what to do.
I wanted to give him more, but I didn’t want to hurt his pride.

Are you sure you only need 20 cents? I asked him.
My hand was in the bill section of my wallet.
Only 20 cents, he said insistently.
I handed him two quarters.

Oh no, that is too much, he said.
He asked for 20 cents and he meant it.
Take the two quarters, I said, just in case.
Thank you, miss, he said as he grabbed the quarters quickly from my hand.

As fast as he came, he left.
I didn’t even see where he went after that.
I didn’t see him on another aisle.
I didn’t see him in the checkout line.

I argued with myself for the rest of the shopping trip.
Would he have accepted $20 if I had offered it to him?
Would he have been embarrassed and leave without anything?
I will never know the answer to that since he insisted he only wanted 20 cents.

I want 10 cents worth of God, please.
I remember reading a vignette with that same title a long time ago.
I never knew the author; I have read many variations of the vignette through the years.
The words, 10 cents worth of God, played over and over in my head.

I’ll have ten cents worth of God, please.
I want enough to get a taste, to actually have Him, but not so much that it costs me much.
I don’t want to get distracted from the things that I really want.
I don’t want to be consumed by a huge dose of God.
I want enough to feel pretty good about myself, enough to make my life respectable and manageable–enough to get me through the pearly gates.
I’ll have ten cents worth of God, please….

As I finished my shopping, I had two things to consider.
Who was that man?
Why did he ask me for such a random amount of money?
Was it the act of giving or was it the amount that I was supposed to ponder?

Did my two quarters help the man in any way or was it simply an object lesson to help me?
How much God do I want in my life?
Just enough God to get by?
Or so much God that my heart cannot contain Him?

Prayerfully, I hope it is the latter.
I want the floodgates to open.
I want God to pour out of every crevice of my being.
I want a God tsunami to overtake me.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. (Psalm 23:1-6)

The only way my cup overflows is if the Lord fills it.
The Lord, my shepherd, takes care of me.
Not 20 cents worth of care, rather lavish care.
I am cared for by my Lord so I can in turn care for others.

It is not the amount or the size of the gift.
It is meeting a need at the moment the need is known.
Only God knows how our obedience will be used for their good and His glory.
Only God knows.

The widow only put two copper coins in the temple treasury. (Luke 21:1-4)
Yet Jesus was pleased.
Others put far more money into the receptacles, but Jesus was interested in something else.
The heart of the giver was more important than the amount of the gift.

All these thoughts tumbled and tossed around in my head.
I began to understand.
Miss, do you have 20 cents?
The man’s question had nothing to do with money.

Do I have 20 cents worth of God or do I overflow with love for Him?
Do I want to give to others because He gave so lavishly to me?
It is not up to us to understand the need or even second guess it.
It is up to us to obey and meet that need no matter how absurd it may seem.

Miss, do you have 20 cents ?
In giving the man two meager quarters, I learned a truth.
God uses all sorts of ways to teach us about Himself.
How often do we pay attention?