Things Have To Change

It was a rite of passage.
It was a day for which all of my children longed.
Their sixteenth birthday could not come fast enough.
Turning sixteen meant that they could apply for their learner’s permit.

Our state has a law that a driver with a learner’s permit has to log their driving hours.
They have to drive in all conditions.
The driver cannot take their driver’s test until six months has passed.
That six months time period felt like an eternity to my children.

Driver’s education classes had to be taken.
We chose to have our children take those classes through our intermediate unit.
That way, they did not have to have driver’s ed in their school schedule.
Often, the instructor you drove with all those months was the one who gave you your test.

What an exciting day it was for each of my children when they got their license.
There were rules that they had to adhere to in order to use the car.
They had to buy the gas they used.
They also could only drive Gallaghers for the first few months, until we saw they were responsible.

The newly licensed driver had to be home on time.
Driving was a privilege.
Driving was also a responsibility.
It was serious; it was another ladder on the road to adulthood.

We have pictures of each of our children with their license in hand.
We have pictures of them next to the car.
We have pictures of them driving away for the first time.
A mother’s prayer life increases exponentially when her children begin to drive on their own.

That is why the current trend I see in our culture perplexes me.
Young people, turning sixteen years old, are in no rush to drive.
Some admit to being fearful.
Some just do not have the desire to take on that responsibility.

I was talking to my oldest daughter about this, since she is a youth leader at her church.
I was talking to my daughter who taught school for ten years before having her daughter.
Both agreed that this is a real problem.
Both agree that it is a sign of our times.

When asked, a young person, who is reluctant to drive, will give the same answer.
Don’t you want to see your friends?
We don’t need to drive to see them; we talk to them all the time, they say.
Think about their answer.

We talk to them all the time.
Except they are not talking.
They are texting or communicating through social media.
The conversations they are having are not happening face to face and they are fine with that.

My oldest daughter remembered the feeling of driving herself home from practice after school.
She remembered the freedom that driving gave her, within the boundaries we set for her.
Each of my children loved driving to high school and not having to take the bus.
Driving to school meant driving your sibling as well and waiting for them at the end of the day.

They did not have to contend with the social media pressures this generation experiences.
Seeing your friend meant seeing them face to face.
Activities were done with other people.
Today, so many activities are done all alone.

The life of this generation is very solitary.
Talking is done through a keyboard.
The young person is accessible 24/7 on any given day.
The phone seems to be permanently attached to their hands.

My daughter, who taught in the classroom, told me a story about a principal.
I applaud this man and his convictions.
He made a rule that there will be no phones allowed at all during the school day.
The phones have to stay in the student’s locker from when they arrive until the end of the day.

The principal expected backlash from parents.
He did not get any backlash at all.
Even the students like their school environment so much better.
The principal said that the students are actually talking to each other during lunch.

Imagine that!
Face to face conversation is happening again at their school.
There is no device that is standing between them.
The art of conversation is actually returning to that high school campus.

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. (Colossians 4:6)

It will take something drastic, like what the principal implemented, to begin to turn things around.
Parents need to put boundaries on those things that are time wasters.
Parents need to encourage face to face communication.
A little responsibility goes a long way.

I hope that things will turn around.
I hope that rites of passage, like driving, will be something to look forward to and not fear.
I hope that activities become more about one-anothering instead of being solitary ones.
I hope that things change.

Face to face.
Eye to eye.
Empty hands ready to accept the gifts that are before us every day.
Talking to another person and listening when they respond to you.

These are not new concepts.
Unfortunately, they have been forgotten for far too long.
Let’s bring them back.
Revival starts with us.

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Photographer, Eric Pickersgill, created a series of photos called, Removed.
He wanted people to imagine what they would look like if their device was removed from their hand.
He shows how strange that pose really looks.
Seeing this series of photos was quite timely.

https://www.removed.social/united-states

2 responses to “Things Have To Change”

1. Oh, Gina–you really hit the nail on the head! I am so saddened to see how addicted people are to their phones. How much they miss–hearing people’s voices and intonations, seeing their expressions, to say nothing of looking around to see the beauty of the world around us. I recently saw a TV show on how dangerous it is for small children to be on screens all the time; it really affects their brain and emotional development. Bravo for that principal–that should be the rule in all schools! It’s also up to parents to limit how much their children use phones at home. Remember when we weren’t allowed to talk for hours on a telephone? Other calls might come in, other things needed to be done. We played, used our imagination. Hope things can turn around.

   Reply

   • I hope so, too, Sue.
     Boundaries and limits are so important.
     I still remember our wall phone with the short phone cord!
     Gina

     Reply