Speaking Truth

My mother was a wonderful housekeeper.
She kept everything clean and neat, polished and dusted.
I had chores to do as well and learned from her example.

One of my favorite chores as a little girl was washing the baseboards.
The bedroom rugs were not wall to wall.
Hard wood floors went around the perimeter of the room.

A vacuum attachment would have completed the job with ease.
However, my mother wanted the baseboards and the hardwood floors washed with water.
Looking back, I wonder if she really was that particular, or she just wanted a chore for me.

I loved that job because I loved playing with water.
Having a bucket and clean rag and being able to dip it in soapy water was so much fun.
Fun until my mother realized that I didn’t quite have the hang of wringing out the rag.

Drops of water followed me around the room.
She taught me how to wring the rag in such a way that no water dropped on the rug.
I was the best baseboard washer in the world!

My mother was preparing for company and many things needed to be done.
The house sparkled; the dinner smelled delicious.
The guests arrived and were greeted with warm welcomes.

One of our guests commented on the house and how lovely everything looked.
Helen, how do you do it? Everything is immaculate.
Oh no, not everything, the best baseboard washer in the world announced.
There are dust bunnies under my bed if you want to see!

I got a look from my mother that I will never forget!
I was young and my words were not meant to hurt her.
I was telling the truth, with no filter.

She sat me down later and gently explained that what I said was indeed true.
There were dust bunnies under my bed.
She and I worked very hard to have everything look nice for our guests.
She asked a simple question, Were your words necessary?

There it was.
I have never forgotten her gentle question.
Were your words necessary?

How often I have thought about her gentle question.
Her simple words were loaded with a valuable life lesson.
How often I fail to ask myself that question before I speak.

Reading Little House On The Prairie books to my children the same directive was given.
Ma taught Laura the same thing in a different way.

If wisdom’s way you wisely seek, five things observe with care: to whom you speak, of whom you speak, and how, and when, and where.

I spoke the truth that day but I needed to learn how to speak the truth in love.
I needed to learn how to speak with a filter, not just say whatever popped into my head.
I needed to remember my mother’s gentle teaching: Are my words necessary?

Then we will no longer be infants tossed back and forth by the waves and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Him who is the Head, that is Christ. (Ephesians 4:14,15)

How do we speak the truth in love?
How do we love others with our words but not compromise the Gospel?
How do we speak truth rather than have it be the elephant in the room?

If the truth we speak is merely to puff ourselves up, it is self-aggrandizing.
If the truth we speak is to tear someone down, it is purposefully unkind.
There is a motive behind the truth we speak, and that motive is often about us.

The truth we speak must glorify God.
The truth we speak must magnify God.
The truth we speak must make God known.

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. (Colossians 4:5,6)

Full of grace.
There it is.

My words are necessary if they are grace filled; if they are Spirit filled.
My words are necessary if they are God honoring; if they are God magnifying.
My words are necessary if they edify, disciple, and equip; if they are spoken in love.

We must know Truth in order to speak truth.
We must know God’s Absolute Truth so that we are speaking His words, not our own.
We must love God first, so that we can love others better.
We must rely on the Holy Spirit.

I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. But when He, the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you in all truth. He will not speak on His own; He will speak only what He hears and He will tell you what is to come. He will bring glory to Me by taking from what is mine and make it known to you. (John 16:12-14)

The Holy Spirit will lead us in Truth.
The Holy Spirit will guide us and correct us as we ask: Are my words necessary?
If the Truth is spoken in love and honors our Lord Jesus, our words are necessary.