In Need Of Repair

My husband volunteers to build houses.
Each year he travels either nationally or internationally and builds homes.
He builds decent affordable homes for people in need.
In a few months, he will be going to Peru to build there.

As an engineer, he has always had a love of building and repairing.
This is a way he can utilize those skills and help others.
He has met many fascinating people through the years, all around the world.

My husband has noticed something that is more a cultural statement than an observation.
Whenever he builds homes internationally, the families are very poor, but they are intact.
Whenever he builds homes in our country, there are no men in any of the families.

Where are the men?

Internationally, he has built entire homes that would fit inside two rooms of a home here.
There is such pride as the entire family works together.
Men who are fisherman, clean their nets early in the morning and then get right to work.
Women, beside their husbands, wash clothes using old basins and washboards.
Young children gather water for the workers or take care of the chickens.

Some families have their chickens right in the house with them.
They lay eggs under their beds and the children gather them each morning.
The women sweep dirt floors with pride, keeping their meager possessions clean.

The man is proud of his home.
The man is proud of his family.
The man is present.

When my husband first began to volunteer, our youngest daughter was three years old.
She prayed for her Daddy while he was gone.
She prayed for the little girl who would live in the house that Daddy built.

My husband called a few times during that week.
He wanted me to prepare our daughter, since there was no little girl in the house.
She was so sure and continued to pray.

When we picked him up at the airport that was the first thing she asked him.
He had a strange look on his face.
The little girl was your age and she loves her house very much.

I looked at him confused.
He explained on the car ride home from the airport.

All week, he worked on the house, which was owned by a grandmother.
She helped with things that she could manage, which was actually quite a lot.
She spoke about a daughter and a granddaughter, but my husband never met them.

On the last day, the house was officially turned over to the homeowner.
This sweet woman had something to say.

I want to thank you for all your hard work to finish my house for me.
I have raised my daughter alone and worked hard, so repairs kind of got away from me.
You made my dream come true.

My daughter and my precious grandbaby will be living with me now.
She reached down to hug a little girl who has hiding behind her.
Now we can each take care of her when the other one is working.
This is God’s house…thank you all so much.

The key and a Bible were handed to her.
My husband was astonished.
The little girl was the same age as our daughter.
This is the little girl our daughter was praying for all along.

In that town, the houses belonged to women who were raising children alone.
Up and down the streets you saw the same thing: women, children, but no men.
That is not the way God intended.

These strong women were doing the best they could under the circumstances.
The men were not taking responsibility.
They were fathering children and then leaving the women to handle them on their own.

Any man can biologically father a child.
Not many men can truly be a father, a Daddy.
Someone to look up to, to learn from, to emulate, to love, and respect.

The question remained: Where are the men?

We can think of many homes with intact families; it is a beautiful thing to see.
We probably know more families with just the Mom in charge.
A woman who is both father and mother to the children in her care.
Strong women, or women who have had to learn to be strong, going through life alone.

We, in this country, are affluent, we want for nothing, yet we are so terribly broken.
The state of the family is a good indicator of the state of our nation.
Our nation is not in a good state.

Young men are not stepping up to the plate to be married.
They want what they want first, and then they might think about settling down.
Young women, desiring marriage and a family, are alone through no fault of their own.

Young men will feign love to get sex.
Young women will use sex to get love.
The result is often a child, left in the cross hairs, needing the love of a Mom and a Dad.

That child is an innocent victim.
That child deserves more than brokenness.

We have myriads of choices for just about everything.
There is no incentive to stay, to work it out, to take responsibility, to love well.
Our “Me First” attitude as a nation is causing us to implode.

It is not about ME.
We must learn that “other centered” thinking and living is the only way.
Pride in our family and in our homes has nothing to do with economics.
That pride comes from way down deep; seeing the family as a gift from God to cherish.

It is too easy to move on.
It is too easy to change our minds.
Stick-to-it-tive-ness is not taught or caught by example.
We are slowly unraveling.

God can turn it around, but we have to turn back to God.
We have to start doing things HIS way.

Families all around the world remain intact when they have virtually nothing.
We have everything we could possibly want and yet many of our families are broken.
We must turn 180 degrees and begin again.
Our children and our future depend on it.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)

 

2 responses to “In Need Of Repair”

1. Our heavenly father was our first role model. He left a blueprint and instructions for the earthly father. We were instructed to train up the children in the way they should go. He left the ten commandments with instructions, ” You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise.” (Deuteronomy 6:7) We strayed from the path of our father and wandered into the village. We abrogated the responsibility of the father to man and the village. Our children succumb to the darkness of the village searching for the light. God’s people, His hands and Feet should stand ready, here am I, the light. “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good work and glorify our father in heaven.

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   • Ruth,
     I know your heart breaks over the state of many families in our country. How we need the Lord.
     Gina

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