What Sets You Apart?

When you have five children growing up in a house, challenges are inevitable.
How do you carve out time with just one child at a time?
How do you make sure each child gets enough attention?
How do you ensure that each child’s uniqueness is celebrated?

When they were small, I purposed to do one small thing that proved to be invaluable.
I was always able to describe one important thing about each child that set them apart.
If I was introducing my children to someone that never met them, I was ready.

This is my athlete.
This is my musical one.
This is my math whiz.
This is my drummer.
This is my artist.

The descriptions changed often depending on their interests at the time.
However, at any given time, they each knew one thing that set them apart.

It was the math whiz that caused problems.

I introduced them to someone while we were shopping one day.
My oldest son took me aside.
Mom, I wish you wouldn’t say that any more. I’m not just a math whiz.

I smiled at his innocence and his truthfulness.
He was not just a math whiz.
He was far more.
We all are far more than a short descriptive could possibly capture.

What would you like me to say the next time? I asked, anxious to hear his response.
You can say that I’m your soccer star!

I smiled because at the time, he had just begun to play soccer for a township league.
Though he was good and did enjoy the sport, the title was a bit lofty, yet important to him.

A few weeks later, we met someone that had not officially met my children.
I went down the line with my quick summation.
When I got to him, I included “soccer star” after his name.
His smile was huge, his pride was evident; he seemed to grow two inches taller right then.

Sadly, in late elementary school and early middle school, “smart” meant different.
My children were raised in a home where all of their unique gifts were cherished.
Now they were faced with the choice of standing out or fitting in.

To my son, being described as a soccer star was somehow safer than being a math whiz.
Soccer blended in much better than math.
Soccer was a nice neutral tan; math was a bright red.

Interestingly, my son’s favorite color has always been red.
There is no neutral tan about him.
There should be no neutral tan about any of us.

This neutral tan mentality was short lived.
A few months later, we ran into someone who knew my boys.
Since they looked so much alike, the person was confused as to which one was older.
I clarified their identity and used their descriptive.

As we walked away, my son looked at me in an odd way.
Mom, it’s OK to say that I’m your math whiz again.
A bridge was crossed.
A corner was turned.

He began to cherish his uniqueness and he began to like what set him apart.
Neutral tan or bright red.
He chose red.
I have never forgotten.

Descriptions.
A little synopsis of who we are.
Descriptions can lift up or they can tear down.

“I am telling you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe that I am He. I tell you the truth, whoever accepts anyone I send accepts Me; and whoever accepts Me accepts the One who sent Me.” After He said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, “I tell you the truth, one of you is going to betray Me.” His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them He meant. One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to Him. Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, “Ask Him which one He means.” (John 13:19-24)

What a description.
The one whom Jesus loved.

Imagine.
You are out walking with Jesus.
Someone stops Him and asks, Who is this?
Oh, this is the one that I love!

I guarantee we would never tire of that description.
We would never cringe if we heard those words.
We would never choose to have Jesus describe us any other way.

Do our children know, really know, that they are loved?
Can our children say the one thing that sets them apart from everyone else?
Do they know that their uniqueness is a gift from God?

We must begin to see our children as God’s fingerprints.
Each one is different.
Each one is unique.
Each one is special.

Knowing they are loved first by God is their sure foundation.
Knowing we love them builds on that foundation.
Soon their life will be firmly set on something unchangeable.

We are a generation hungry for Truth.
There is one truth that needs to be firmly engraved on our heart.
I am the one that Jesus loves.