Living Around

It was a big deal when I could ride my bike around the block.
It was a day of independence.
It was a day of realizing that I could be trusted.
It was a day when it was perfectly okay to be out of sight.

Back in those days, neighbors looked out for each other.
If I rode my bike too fast, I was sure that Mrs. So and So would tell.
In fact, before I even got home, my mother would already know.
It is the mystique of mothers: knowing the unknown ahead of time.

That’s just the way it was.
It was about caring.
It was about concern.
It was about looking out for each other’s children.

As a child, it was annoying to be found out.
As a child, you knew that you would be caught.
It provided a level of accountability that is unheard of today.
Everyone is too afraid to get involved.

Often when one speaks of the future they talk about what is right around the corner.
The imagery speaks of something that is just beyond our grasp.
It speaks of something that is around the next bend in the road.
It speaks of something unseen by us, but known by God.

Around the block.
Around the corner.
One is a sign of independence.
One is a sign of uncertainty.

In his book, Nathan Coulter, Wendell Berry wrote something that I have been pondering.
It was one sentence that made my pause.
It was one sentence that resonated deep within my heart.
One sentence.

Grandma said that you didn’t live with a man like Grandpa; you lived around him.

You lived around him.
I had to think about what that meant.
What does it mean to live around someone?
What does it mean to live with them?

We are a culture of people who live around each other.
We go about our days with our heads down.
We are on our phones.
We are listening to music on our iPods.

We live around our neighbors, but never really know them.
We live around our co-workers, afraid to cross the line in our conversations.
We live around our church family, never allowing them to see our struggles.
We live around our family because of our busyness.

Living around someone is not the same as living with them.
Living around is safe.
Living around keeps the bubble of personal space intact as we go about our days.
Living with is messy.

Living around is lonely.
Living around is solitary.
Living around is not being part of community.
Living around is not what God expects.

Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so He went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at table. When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind Him at His feet weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. When the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, He would know who is touching Him and what kind of woman she is – that she is a sinner. Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.” “Tell me, teacher,” he said. “Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii and the other fifty. Neither of them had money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt cancelled.” “You have judged correctly,” Jesus said. Then He turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give Me any water for My feet, but she wet My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give Me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing My feet. You did not pour oil on My head, but she has poured perfume on My feet. Therefore I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven – for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
(Luke 7:36-50)

Simon, the Pharisee lived around the sinful woman.
He knew nothing about her.
He only knew her category: sinner.
Jesus asked the perfect question: Simon, do you see this woman?

Jesus wanted to know if Simon really saw her or only saw her categories?
Jesus knew that living around her means that you will only point fingers at her.
Jesus is aware that living with her is messy because she is messy.
Jesus understood that Simon was as messy as the sinful woman.

We sinful, finite people tend to live around others.
We judge.
We point fingers.
We do not love others well.

Jesus lived with the people He came to save.
He loved them deeply.
He forgave them of their sins.
He had mercy and compassion on them.

In order to live with someone you have to be involved in their lives.
Living around is easy.
Living around means that there is no emotional attachment.
You can easily walk away when you live around since there is no long-term commitment.

Living around never affords the closeness that God expects.
Living with assures that you are part of their lives no matter how messy they become.
Living around is safe, making sure you never get close enough to get hurt.
Living with means being vulnerable, allowing the other to see you at your worst.

Living around has a level of care but not a level of intimacy.
Living with brings with it a level of exposure.
When God sent His Son Jesus to redeem His people, God sent Him to live with them.
Our, Immanuel; God with us.

Not God around us.
Not God detached.
Not God unwilling to get involved in the messy lives of His people.
Rather God WITH us.

God doesn’t live around His people.
God lives with them.
God the Holy Spirit indwells those that belong to God the Father.
God the Son came and tabernacled with us.

What if Jesus came to live around us?
We would still be in our sins.
God with us still comes into our messy lives and saves us.
How blessed we are.

Around or with?
An important question.

2 responses to “Living Around”

1. That is one thing I love about working with teenagers. They live with. I just spent a week with them at Christian Endeavor Summer Assembly. On Thursday night, we have a campfire service, where they share the things that are going on in their lives. Then different adults and teenagers pray for them, hug them, encourage them. It went on for three hours. I,m sure many parents and adults would be shocked about the pain in their lives. They are very bold and courageous in what they reveal. The week brings them so close with one another, that they feel safe with one another and trust one another. What a privilege, to be there and to minister.

   Reply

   • Charlie,
     You have impacted so many young people for the Lord. They are blessed to have you as such a Godly example, mentor, and friend. You “live with” as well. I am blessed to know you.
     Gina

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