The Number Of Words

Conversations amaze me.
Conversations differ depending on whether you are a man or a woman.
They really do.
Generally, women are far more verbal than men.

It has been said that a woman speaks about 20,000 words each day.
That is about 13,000 more words than the average man.
Scientists discovered that women have a higher amount of FOXP2 protein.
The FOXP2 protein is also known as the “language protein.”

That difference is striking.
Many women can attest to the truth of that finding.
Women have more to say or perhaps we use more words to say it.
Men seem to get to the point in fewer words.

Perhaps men are just not that interested in the details as we women are.
Perhaps men just want to get to the main idea quickly.
Women need to set up the back story for a frame of reference.
Men need as little information as possible.

Joe Friday’s famous business-like catch phrase, Just the facts, ma’am, still applies.
Lack of communication is the number one complaint in relationships.
In reality, men and women come to the table wired much differently.
That God-designed difference brings balance to the family.

It is frustrating for a talkative person.
They often feel as if they are pulling teeth in order to communicate.
It is almost impossible to change the way a person is wired.
However, we can learn ways to communicate better.

I saw the real life application of this difference at the grocery store.
I got in line just as the person in front of me was finishing.
The cashier, a woman, said, Hello, in a pleasant tone.
Paper or plastic? She asked and I answered that I would like to have both.

She began to talk about the flimsy paper bags and how they need a plastic bag for support.
I mentioned how much I like the bags at the grocery store in the Outer Banks.
They use paper bags with handles; how I wish we had them here, I said.
I love those bags, she responded, They are useful for so many other things.

She remarked how the grocery stores in the Outer Banks employ so many teenagers.
It teaches them a good work ethic, she added.
She told me about her father and how he instilled a work ethic in his children.
I learned about how she instilled that same work ethic in her own children.

She told me how many children she had.
She told me how many grandchildren she had.
I heard about how her daughter lived very close to her.
I heard about her son’s wedding.

We have two weddings this summer, I mentioned as I was bagging my groceries.
She wanted to know when they were and was astonished that they were two weeks apart.
We talked about the bittersweet feelings a mother has when her children get married.
She talked about the “mother withdrawal” that most mothers have after the wedding.

We talked about the cost of a college education.
We talked about the cost of weddings.
We talked about being able to help our children start out.
We talked about gratitude.

In the time it took to ring up nine bags of groceries, we talked woman to woman.
She deducted my coupons.
She gave me my change.
She handed me my receipt, all the while conversing about life.

When I was ready to leave I said, I really enjoyed talking to you.
I really did!
The person waiting behind me was a man.
I moved away from the register to put my change in my wallet.

Hello, the cashier said, in the same pleasant tone.
The man made a barely audible sound that was supposed to be his hello.
I turned around to see him standing there with no smile on his face, totally silent.
I smiled as I walked out to my car.

A mother will meet another mother at the playground.
They will begin to talk to each other while their children play.
During their brief conversation, they will know the ages of their children.
They will share their labor and delivery stories.

They will know some of the same people once it is established which school they attend.
They will probably share similar stories about sports, and teams, and schedules.
They will know of a new place to eat, or shop, or exercise.
They will have made a friend.

20,000 words each day.
Truthfully, the amount is probably more than that.
13,000 more words than men.
Conversations that get to the heart verses conversations that stick to the bullet points.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29)

It is not the amount of words we speak.
It is the type of words we speak.
We do not gossip or slander.
We do not betray a trust.

We build each other up.
We do not tear each other down.
We speak the truth in love.
We hold our tongue if our words are not edifying.

Talking much does not mean we speak wrongly.
Talking little does not mean we speak with wisdom.
The amount of our words does not determine whether we are wise or foolish.
The heart behind our words is the key.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

It is not the amount of our words but rather whether our words please the Lord.
20,000 words or 13,000 words means nothing if our words do not honor God.
It is not the number of words but the type of words we speak.
People are listening.

Most importantly, God is listening.