First Steps

I’m on the verge of walking.
I am only one.
I get around by crawling,
But now it’s not much fun.

Now the weather’s warmer.
Shorts are what I wear.
Crawling on all the hard, cold floors,
Hurts my knees so bare.

I side step on the furniture.
I can maneuver, oh so well.
But when will I stop holding on?
Only time will tell.

I try to crawl and lift my knees,
Lift them off the floor.
The problem is that what I want,
Is just to crawl no more.

I want to walk around the house.
I want to walk out in the yard.
I want to walk from room to room.
But it really is quite hard.

I hold my grandma’s finger.
I walk from chair to chair.
I want to walk all by myself.
I still need someone there.

My mommy tried to trick me,
She gave me things to hold.
I knew that it was not her hand.
Her idea was very bold.

I want to carry things around.
But I need my legs and arms,
To get me where I need to go,
To get there without harm.

I tried to crawl across the floor,
With a ball inside each hand.
It was hard to crawl around,
There was no safe place to land.

My mommy and daddy coax me.
They call me to their arms.
I want to go, but not let go,
I want to stay away from harm.

Just trust me, little one, I hear.
As their arms reach out to me.
I see them and I want to go,
But I need security.

I can stand alone for quite some time,
And everybody cheers.
I can get down and up again
With music in my ears.

I can dance to all the drumbeats,
I can stand firmly in place.
I see a toy I want to get.
I see a cheerful face.

I want to walk cross the room.
I want to run outside.
I want to dance from here to there.
With no one there beside.

I have to lay down things I hold.
The things within each hand.
I have to take a step alone.
They all say that I can.

I have to come with empty hands.
I have to trust those by my side.
I know that when I do fall down.
I do not have to hide.

They are there to pick me up.
They are there to cheer me on.
They are there to marvel.
Where has my first year gone?

______________________________________________________________

I watched my granddaughter all afternoon.
I learned so much from her.
I saw the similarity as I watched her try to walk on her own.
I am like her in so many ways.

She was only holding on to my fingertip.
She just has to have the courage to take those steps alone.
Alone but not alone, little one, I said to her.
Grandma’s here.

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. (Psalm 139:1-12)

God watches over us.
He sees our struggles.
He sees our attempts to do it all ourselves.
He is right there, ready to take our hand.

Sometimes, God allows us to struggle.
Sometimes, God allows us to stumble.
Just put those things down that you’re holding, He says.
Come to Me with empty hands and let Me fill them.

We side step around, not wanting to let go.
We try to map out our steps so that we can maneuver securely.
Or so we think.
Yet, God is always there with His outstretched arms.

Alone by not alone, little one, He says.
I am here.
Your Abba, Father is here.
Just take a few steps…I have you.