The Other Side Of The Mask

There it sits.
It is a reminder of what life is like now.
It is a yearning for what life once was.
It is a sign of the times.

It hangs on the phone holder right below my rear view mirror.
I wish it wasn’t there.
I wish I never had to see it again.
However, seven months have passed, and it is still necessary.

They say it should be in the sunlight.
Some have it hanging from their rear view mirror.
I found that it interfered with my line of vision.
So there it sits, a testimony to all I would undo, if I could.

Some people have decorative ones that even match their outfits.
Mine is a simple one, surgical blue.
The word, mask, used to be associated with Halloween or Mardi Gras.
Now it is associated with a virus.

Put you mask in the sunlight, I have heard.
It kills the virus, I have been told.
So it hangs there.
Ominous. Unwanted. Necessary.

I have mentioned to friends that I feel like I am back when my children were babies.
Every excursion was planned.
A mental checklist was gone through before we set out.
Diapers, wipes, bottle, bib…Check!

I have not had to carry a diaper bag for well over twenty years.
Yet, the mental checklist is still there.
Since March, 2020, the mental checklist became necessary.
It is necessary for the well being of myself and others.

I took the mask off the phone holder.
I had to put it on before I went into the church for a funeral visitation.
I looped the elastic over my ears.
I pinched the metal bar over my nose.

I giggled but my giggle was short lived.
I got out of my car.
Someone called my name; they called my maiden name.
There stood two of my friends from elementary school.

In our masks, I would have walked right past them.
I looked at the people I passed.
Only half of their face was visible.
On a day like this, when seeing a full face would be comforting, we were all hidden.

One of the friends standing outside was the one I came to see.
It was her mother who had died at the age of ninety-nine.
I would have walked right past her.
How I loathed our masks at that moment.

Are you hugging? The other friend asked.
Of course, I said as we moved close to each other.
A hug was right and needed.
Yet the reality of the virus and masks lingered over us like a dark cloud.

My friend’s mother was very special to all of us who grew up together in those years.
She was a nurse.
I always remember her in her starched white uniform and clean white shoes.
I always remember her warm smile and pleasant laugh.

I see the face of her mother in my friend.
Her mother had been a widow for many years.
My friend and her sister are also widows.
So much heartache.

After leaving the visitation, I got back in my car to drive almost an hour to my home.
I took off my mask.
I hung it on the phone holder.
I made sure the blue side was facing the sunlight.

The white side was facing me.
I noticed the lipstick.
It almost seemed as if that was a lifetime ago.
Why do I even put on lipstick when my mouth is behind my mask anyway?

Defiance.
Rebellion.
Wishful thinking.
Normalcy.

How we need a bit of normalcy.

When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the covenant law in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the Lord. When Aaron and all the Israelites saw Moses, his face was radiant, and they were afraid to come near him.  But Moses called to them; so Aaron and all the leaders of the community came back to him, and he spoke to them.  Afterward all the Israelites came near him, and he gave them all the commands the Lord had given him on Mount Sinai.

 When Moses finished speaking to them, he put a veil over his face. But whenever he entered the Lord’s presence to speak with him, he removed the veil until he came out. And when he came out and told the Israelites what he had been commanded,  they saw that his face was radiant. Then Moses would put the veil back over his face until he went in to speak with the Lord. (Exodus 34:29-35)

When Moses was up on Mt. Sinai, speaking with the Lord, his face became radiant.
Moses was unaware of the change in his appearance until he came back down to the people.
The people were afraid of Moses’ radiant face.
They did not understand; we are changed when we spend time with God.

Moses needed to wear a veil to cover the radiance.
Being with God on the mountain made Moses’ face shine.
Instead of being delighted with that marvelous change, the people feared it.
We are always afraid of what we don’t understand.

I still wear my lipstick under my mask.
Remnants of it are on the white underside.
It reminds me of life the way it was before.
It give me hope about the way life will be again.

What is on the other side of the mask?
HOPE.
Our radiant faces, as we spend time with God, cannot be fully seen.
For now, the radiance is only visible in our eyes, but it is still there.

I am going to purposely hang my mask with the white side facing me.
I am going to smile at the lipstick I see there.
I am going to think of what will be.
I am going to hope, always HOPE.

 

2 responses to “The Other Side Of The Mask”

1. So many things I think about are in this post. One day this WILL be over, timing is in the Lord’s hands. Thanks, Gina….

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   • Sue, kindred spirits, you and I.
     Gina

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