My Dilemma

I went to a wonderful conference this past weekend.
Writers, poets, artists, and musicians were all in one place.
We all were refreshed and rejuvenated.
I was so grateful for the time away and for the time with other creative people.

As I walked back to my hotel, it was quite windy.
I pulled my coat tighter around me.
I was at the traffic light waiting for the signal to tell me that I could walk.
There was no one around, since it was a bit late.

Out of nowhere, I heard a man’s voice.
He was right behind me, almost looking over my shoulder.
I’m not from around here, he said.
Do you have some money you can give me?

At that moment, so many thoughts went through my head.
I was a woman alone on a city street, albeit a small city.
I could see my hotel across the square.
My crossbody bag was safely in front of me.

Help the poor.
Be kind to the needy.
Give without expecting anything in return.
…with humility think of others as being better than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)

But I was a woman alone on a city street.
I did not know this man who was uncomfortably close to me.
I could not easily fumble through my crossbody bag for money.
I had no intention of pulling my wallet out at this point in time.

I’m sorry; I’m not from here either, I said as the signal allowed me to walk.
It was a true statement.
I was an hour away from home.
However, my answer bothered me.

When I got back to my hotel room, I thought of another time.
Our entire family was on vacation.
Every day, outside our hotel, someone was asking passersby for money.
The man looked beaten down by life; he looked unwell.

I had my children to think of…
What if he used the money for something that would not help his situation?
For two days, he was there and for two days I walked passed him.
On the morning of the third day, I decided that I would buy him a meal.

When we left the hotel that third morning, the man was gone.
I lost my opportunity.
I lost the chance to help him.
I pondered the dilemma and was not satisfied with my response.

Had I missed a teaching moment?
Was I like the Levi and the priest who walked on the other side of the road?
It was not selfishness, but safety that presented my dilemma.
Then and now.

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
“What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”
He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’
“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”
 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”
Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.” (Luke 10:25-37)

Go and do likewise.
My dilemma.
Then and now.
Lord Jesus, give me wisdom.